Showers & Sanchez

Odale Vato, welcome to Shower's & Sanchez's blog. Don't be offended by our shit, cause we love the smell!

Thursday, December 08, 2005

Sanchez 10 Most Pooped on People of 2005 #9

9. Kanye West: Supreme Dumb-Ass, and outspoken ignorant being of the Human Race.

Known for:

- Bashing Bush on MTV. (I feel sorry for Mike).
- Crying like a little poop baby for not winning a Grammy.
- Being an ignorant arrogant and outstanding dumb-ass individual, who thinks money is the solution to his impotence.

Worst Moment (s)

- He's too young, dumb and full of cum to realize that his whole life is one big joke. "No one is listening Kanye so shut the fuck up and get back in the crib" Kanye's Mom.

Best Moment (s)

- The day he found out XXXS condoms exist.

If it weren't for the (Money) where would this person be?

- In the Ghetto singing for a few bucks to buy crack.

Could the World Manage?

- FUCK YEA! We don't need another dumbass telling us Bush and FEMA messed up. You know what Kanye? It wasn't cause New Orleans has a black majority, it's because the damn city was built in a bowl. Ti-Ti-Ree (Carlos Mencia). And if you were half the man or activist you claim to be, then you would stop telling your brothers and sisters that it's more important to wear a different watch every day of the year, then it is to get a job, get off welfare, and stop killing each other. The truth hurts Kanye Fuckhead.

What would Sanchez say?

- Someone call the WAHHHHHMMMBULANCCCCEEE! 10-6-9er I got a black man with a Grammy up his ass, and a collection of Gucci watches around his penis.

If Baby Jesus were alive today what would he say?

- "God Damnit God, I died on the cross for this piece of shit!"

Poo smells and looks like?

- Smells like flowers and hamsters. Looks like a dark vaseline substance with traces of pink rubber.

The head of BellSouth's Louisiana operations, Bill Oliver.....COME ON DOWN....

Bill Oliver, Come on down you are the next victim of Golden Shower fun, I'll give you something to cry about!!

Bill Oliver deserves the Grape Fanta Golden Shower! Reserved for special idiots! (For you inexperienced readers, this golden shower should come out a pretty greenish color with a neon hue)

According to a story in the Washington Post,
Angry BellSouth Withdrew Donation, New Orleans Says, Hours after New Orleans officials announced Tuesday that they would deploy a city-owned, wireless Internet network in the wake of Hurricane Katrina, regional phone giant BellSouth Corp. withdrew an offer to donate one of its damaged buildings that would have housed new police headquarters, city officials said yesterday.

According to the officials, the head of BellSouth’s Louisiana operations, Bill Oliver, angrily rescinded the offer of the building in a conversation with New Orleans homeland security director Terry Ebbert, who oversees the roughly 1,650-member police force.

City officials said BellSouth was upset about the plan to bring high-speed Internet access for free to homes and businesses to help stimulate resettlement and relocation to the devastated city. Around the country, large telephone companies have aggressively lobbied against localities launching their own Internet networks, arguing that they amount to taxpayer-funded competition. Some states have laws prohibiting them.

What crap! Are the cable and television companies also a part of this silent attempt to stop free wireless communication without their hands in the till?
I'm all for making money and "The American Dream" but come on people when is enough enough?

I think besides the Grape Fanta Golden Shower Bill Oliver deserves a big strap-on to the ass with no lube!!!

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Sanchez 10 Most Pooped on People of 2005

10. Paris Hilton. In 10th place we have the heiress to the Hilton Empire.

Known for:

- Getting smashed in clubs, dating rich Greek airheads, cheap porn, That's hot! (not), being a dumb blonde, getting her shit hacked into for being dumb, pissing off Hollywood, considering Wal-Mart a place where they "sell wall stuff", getting smashed in clubs.

Worst Moment (s)

- Being born out of the anus.
- Trying to raid stores to retrieve her Porn (cough cough) video.

Best Moment (s)

- When she puts on makeup.

If it weren't for the (Money) where would this person be?

- On Sunset Blvd selling herself for crack, or in a trailer park somewhere in Kansas waiting for a tornado to hit her trailer. Alternatively getting her stomach pumped from swallowing too much jizz.

Could the World Manage?

- YES! We don't need another trust-fund baby telling us how to raise our children, feed us another line of useless clothing and perfumes, showing us how stupid and careless with money you can be with a couple of functional brain cells. Not to mention being a friend of Tara Reid.

What would Sanchez say?

- VL 4 ever. Give me a SideKick and I can show you where to stick it! Bling and all biatch!

If Baby Jesus were alive today what would he say?

- "Goo Goo Ga Ga, one cross with extra nails please!" (Super-Size it!)

Poo smells and looks like?

- Gravy color, with a hint of lime and vodka. A little thick at first, then watered down.

Spontaneous Urination

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Harry Potter I Poop on thy Broom!

For my first poop I will concoct a spell from chicken turd and corn. This is a basic spell that only highly pooped on wizards can perform. *Note: Witches please substitute the corn for beets.*

1. Pour in 1 pound of Chicken Turd into a bowl.
2. While the Turd is basting in its juices add some of "Shower's special sauce" found at your local Magicians Smart Shop.
3. Bake the Turd for 4 hours at 350º.
4. After 4 hours of baking, add some newly defecated corn (Make sure they are whole kernels, otherwise it won't work).
5. Put the Turd back in the oven and bake again for another 1 ½ hours.
6. Take out the Turd and put it in a Pot. (4 feet deep 'x' 2 feet in diameter).
7. Next add your favorite copy of Harry Pothead in the Pot. *If you want an extra special spell, add the Bible.
8. Dice a Nymph 2000 Broom into tiny pieces and sprinkle it in. Wait 2 minutes, and say:

Harry Harry I wanna be your Bitch,
I'll buy your books and make you rich,
I'll watch your movies until the end,
Please be my friend!
I'll worship you and Hermione too,
But Hagrid i will screw.

If all is well and the spell is right, a broom should emerge and rape you in the night!

Contributed by: baby Jesus.

The Inaugural Golden Shower goes to none other than the Boy Scouts of America and Douglas Sovereign Smith Jr.!

Why they get the honor of the Inaugural Golden Shower:

Many parents no longer allow their sons to be members because gays cannot be members.
Because of this, the City of San Francisco has labeled the Scouts as a hate group.

Douglas Sovereign Smith Jr.:
The longtime Boy Scouts of America official who directed a national task force to protect children from sexual abuse pleaded guilty Wednesday to possession and distribution of child pornography.

So, Boy Scouts of America and Douglas Sovereign Smith Jr. here is to your honor and timeless values!

Shower's Scale of Urination

The following is the internationally used "Shower's Scale of Urination". It is used to measure the quantity of which urination is released onto an individual at any given time. The result is a correlation between the quantity of urination (p), multiplied by the force it takes to release it (is), multiplied by the time it takes to drink it (s). As a result we have:

P x IS x S = Our individual.

The Ultimate Golden Shower!

Sanchez's Scale of Poop

The following is the internationally used "Sanchez Scale of Poop". It is used to measure the quantity of poop which is released onto an individual at any given time. The result is a correlation between the mass of poop (sh), multiplied by the force it takes to release it (i), multiplied by the time it takes to eat it (t). As a result we have:

SH x I x T = Our individual.